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I'm frequently asked by my friends who are outside the conflict area of the Southern Border Provinces of Thailand or Patani on what they can do in order to help us. Those who are working for organizations specialized in aiding and social works never ask this question, as they can be part of conflict solution by performing their duties. This question is always asked by those well-wishers whose job has nothing to do with conflict solution. The well-wishes of these people are highly appreciated, but I must confess that I'm always at a loss when met by such questions. The reason is that my answer will not be one which they wish to hear, like 'Okay, great! First, you do this to the group A, and do that for the group B. There helps are exactly what we need!', but a very lengthy and boring one like the following paragraphs. Nevertheless, a token of my appreciation to these well-wishers, let me jot it down here.

One of the easiest things we can do without any consideration and sympathy to those who live in a conflict ridden area is to utter things like ‘Move away from there. What's the point of living in such a place?’

Unfortunately, among the most difficult things for us in helping them is to provide a new environment without drastically depleting the standard of living, because when people from a conflict area move out of the area, exactly because of the effects of the conflict, they are in general totally unprepared for such new environments, and often end up in a refugee camp, a place no one wants to live and very few people are ready to visit to offer any substantial help.

Moving away from a place where you're born or you're so get used to requires a lot of preparation. It's not always an available option for many. Only those who are so lucky that they have enough financial resources, good connection with the outside world and skills to survive can do that. A very simple fact is that in so many cases there is no place for them to go. The only choice is to stay there.

Therefore, in my humble, very personal opinion, the best thing we can do is to be a part of the solution of the conflict. It's very important that we shouldn't underestimate of the impact of what we can. Although as an individual what we can do for that purpose is really limited, but it doesn't mean that our efforts are utterly meaningless. The indifference is a formidable obstacle.

In a conflict, it always happens that emotion of the people can be very easily manipulated. The most alarming emotion is hatred. This inflammable emotion is always seeking for the easiest justification for atrocities committed by those who they support against those who they hate. Therefore those who are driven by hatred are the easiest prey of propagandas. Nowadays, in the era of relatively sophisticated communication tools, propaganda rarely appear as such, but it often assume the appearance of a news report, a press release, a media briefing, a report, a documentary, a film, a picture and so on. Just questioning the authenticity of these disguised propagandas to remind others is among the things we can do without a hard effort.

Helps offered by those who hardly understand the nature and specific characteristics of each conflict often don't match the need of the local people. In the worst case scenario, it might exacerbate the situation itself. Eagerness to help is much appreciated everywhere, but it must be led by clear understandings about the conflict you want to tackle. Understanding even a single small scale conflict is not an easy job. It requires a lot of mental and intellectual exercises. Try to collect as much information as possible. The knowledge itself will be of help, not only for you but for others too.

In order to understand the real nature of a conflict, we need to study a lot of things. There are plenty of general knowledge which can be almost universally applied to every conflict in the world, and the legal systems of both at the international level and at the domestic levels, the learning of which can be done through reading. Apart from this, there are specific characteristics of each conflict, including the history of the conflict area, the nature of the conflict itself (who fights against whom, for what reasons, and how), damages inflicted on the local people, especially the civilians, socio-economic-cultural background, and so on and so forth. In many cases, these kinds of information are relatively difficult to find or reach, and often incomplete. Even if the information is available, it tends to be subjective because of the difficulty in gathering first hand materials. The best thing we can do is to visit the conflict area where we want to provide our help. If it's not possible for some reasons, try to gather information from as wider sources as possible. One-sided information on a conflict only can be misleading, because generally speaking the society in a conflict area is highly divided into at least two parties which are hostile to each other. Inclusiveness is among the key factors, both in conflict solution and understanding of it.

Please notice that ‘understanding a conflict’ is not a goal, but a continuous process because a conflict is an on-going process too. Therefore, we have to refine and update our understanding of it by following up with the latest information all the time.

There is no systematized examination to gauge your understanding of a conflict. We are not dealing with history, but something which is still going on at this very moment. However, those who are highly informed on a conflict generally share common understanding about it. For this reason, it’s very helpful to frequently exchange ideas and views with them. By doing so, you can not only get some useful information, but also to examine your understanding of the conflict in question.

After you have sufficiently understood at least something about the conflict, then the next step is to find what we can do for them. This also require a deep consideration. Perhaps some people want to donate money as a help. But in a conflict area even the smallest unit of money can’t be ‘neutral’. There’s nothing wrong in donating money, because the living standard of the local people in a conflict area is inevitably lower than other places of the same country. However, the donation must be channelled to reliable organizations or individuals, after we have fully understand who they are and what they are doing. This is because a conflict area is, sadly but very understandably, among the best fields for corruption and embezzlement. Money donated does matter, and it can bring about some changes, but please make sure that the money you donate will be used for the purpose you wish to achieve.

Apart from donation, there are still so many things we can do in a conflict area as a help, depending on the characteristics of it, such as humanitarian aids, medical aid, educational help (including scholarships), capacity building of the local people, vocational training, providing basic infrastructure, psychological and spiritual care, campaigning, just mention a very small part of it. In deciding what to do, besides our capacities and intention, the need of the society in the area also shall be taken into consideration. The best way to know that is to communicate with those who are in the conflict area. Communication is another factor for a desirable help which can potentially be beneficial for all parties.

Because a conflict is a highly complicated and intricate circumstance, providing substantial helps is not an easy business too. The very first step is to understand it. If you still want to people in a conflict area, please start it by following what’s going on. Persistently paying serious attentions to it might be the beginning of your help.